Tuesday, August 2, 2011

My Main Look

Do you ever remind yourself that the everyday people are watching you, and judging you, and making assumptions about you all based solely on how you are walking down the street right then at that very moment. Do you dress each morning thinking "oh man, today might be the big day when I walk down the street and run head on into Elijah Wood. My purse will fly open, and he'll help me pick up all the whimsical things I carry around like fairy wings and postcards from exotic places. Instantly he'll fall madly in love with me and we'll make passionate love in Danielle Steels mansion...I better wear my pink lace panties today." Don't you wonder, if they saying 'dress for the job you want, not the job you have' is true or not? And if it is true, I should totally rethink some things.

My dream job has always been to be famous, and yes, that is a job. Over the past decade I've narrowed it down though. I'd like to be a professional famous person who is famous for singing karaoke, wearing fantastical costumes, and performing hilarious comedy. Sorta like a personality of sorts. So my goal right now is to save up some money to buy more comically large bows and Chanel red lipstick.

But that sounds like so much work. Maybe I can start dressing like a hobo. It'd be easy as pie, and maybe it would force to to lose weight and save some money on my water bill.

Or, I could dress like a tourist. Because somedays I wish I were also on vacation.

Or maybe I could dress like an astronaut. I could just walk up to NASA, get some feeze dried ice cream in the cafeteria, make pals with someone by complimenting them, slip into the space shuttle through the trunk door, and boom I'd be in space.

OR! I could dress like a CIA agent, because that would be like the opposite of dressing like something. Walk into headquarters, again compliment someone who would then ask to have lunch with me. We'd eat cheeseburgers and someone I could convince them to send that I needed to go on special assignment to the South of France but not without kidnapping Elijah Wood first.

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